Differences between Men and Women

1.NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2.EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 , even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3.MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

4.BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5.ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that... Is the beginning of a new argument.

6.CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7.FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8.SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9.MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

10.DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11.NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12.OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Some Wise Words

ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE.
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR.
When you say, "I love you," mean it.


FIVE.
When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.


SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.


NINE.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life
completely.

TEN.
In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.


ELEVEN.
Don't judge people by their relatives.


TWELVE.
Talk slowly but think quickly.


THIRTEEN.
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"


FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk..


FIFTEEN.
Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson


SEVENTEEN.
Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.


NINETEEN.
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE.
Spend some time alone.